to the idea of giving up things....

welll just some points nothing major i know i been slackin.

• everyone reading my blog needs to go to aprils cuz the steve hardy clip is hysterical.
• im going home this weekend
• this week i learned one of the girls i went to highschool with does porn now
• i talk to butta everyday but im starting to doubt something--like the importance that i play
• Lent started today i gave up candy, soda, and Mr. 2
• im gettin annoyed with these bitches i live with being dirty
• i got hella homework to do
• Ricardo's birthday weekend starts today WHOOO HOOO RICK
• im tired
• some people have such horrible taste in clothes
• i cant wait for spring
• an addition --his name will be California
• i wanna drink some soda
• i wanna take a nap
• THANK JESUS I GET PAID MANANA...cuz im poor as shit
• what color should i paint my nails when i get a refill???
• parkside's bday is on the 3rd...why do i know he havin a surprise party??? cuz butta shared to much info when i DONT care. ugh
• im bout to clean my suite the dirtiness is KILLIN me
• people at work are gettin on my nerves
• i need to sleep

the yellow brick road...more like streets wit potholes

its amazing the road you must travel before you get to where you're going. you have ups and downs. falls. sometimes you trip over your own feet. however you continue down this path. a path which has no end and if it does you dont have any clue as to where it is. what a choice. what a leap of faith. what a grey. a maybe. a possibly. because in the end you are hoping that it goes well. you are hoping that you get what you want. you hope that you dont get hurt along the way. that you end up happy. that you end up with what you derserve. But how do we get to that. who decides what we derserve. who is willing to take these blind-folded jumps off tall TALL cliffs. i suppose we all must bear this cross. we must all walk without looking where we are going. however i resist with all of my strength. someone with common sense who knows what is coming will resist with all their strength. i'd rather not fall into a pit of lions because i was trusting of the unseen path i was on. does that make me difficult? does that make me wrong? cynical? hard headed? un-believing in the almighty power of love and trust and faith??....what are those other words everyone says to live by but never follow themselves.... "Live Laugh Love" ha yea whatever. your quick to get that tattooed on you because you think its a good quote however do you really believe that that is the true TRUE world. a real world. that yellow brick road nah more like the street downtown with potholes.

it was a bust!! oh lord :(

the past couple of days were going by mighty fine. no problemos. nothing to worry about. but then people were acting funny. days were getting shorter. i was waiting for phone calls so my day would get better. excited to go shoppin which never happened. fiendin for kfc and taco bell but had no car. it was starting to become a shitty week even wit the hours i talked to butta. i got really excited yesterday to see him. i was trying to find clothes that was more than a tee shirt and jeans but that was actually something i would wear. then i was getting nervous [all the things you want to happen when your about to see someone you spend hours talking to] but in the back of my mind i kept thinkin (wat if, wat if, wat if, is he gonna talk to me, is he gonna look at me, etc) we all know who im talkin about here ok .... id rather not say his name cuz im all fucked up in the head right now over some nigga for no apparent reason cuz that nigga could give two shits. ugh!!!!! and that shit is making me fuck up me and butta.

he was so good lookin tho. hoppin around lord jesus. that boy is fine i managed to avoid him with the help of my nupe nupe (sito spr 08) and bbj and the rest of the world that i knew that was there lol. til the end when the lights were on and i was talking to judy and i know he saw me. i was ok cuz i had seen butta. hes such a cutie. hes such a sweetheart. ugh wtf is wrong wit me??? anyway so F.Q. and some bruhs took us to F.Q.'s house and me and bbj were chillin. then all the people came. marcos was being mean lol then there was the random girls and all the bruhs. so i was conversing with a few of my favorites (drew, troy, butta) and bbj was off sittin down in the corner wit another bruh lol who was too funny HELLA FUNNY it was cool. troy got me oil (which was really good-- the best i've had so far im sorry troy i dont like beach oil lol ) and we were sitting there (standing in the hallway talking about people and laughin and catchin up and drew was tryin to get me to get bbj to have his baby lol.

bbj and i had moved down the hall for some reason idk and we were facing each other when here he comes.. he who must not be named... i felt him coming too OH LAWD i was fine.. no i wasnt i couldnt breathe lol this nigga walked right inbetween us and stared at me the whole time with that look on his face like "i could say something and i could possibly want to but im not going to" ugh!!! its killer!!! i almost passed out. ok ok im being a little dramatic... and then asshole bruh made me go get him for some reason so i had to go fuckin talk to him eww kill me now. id rather not re-live that moment it makes me queasy. i was missing a few regular bruhs that i love (eddie, marv) and i could have did without some that were there. MY LIFE IS OVER!!!! i wanted to text him last night but i didnt. theres no point. i have no reason. why im holding on to this. this is ridick and SO OUT OF character for me. wats wrong wit me????? wat did this nigga do?????

i lik chillin with butta. wat he did was great. i love that he'll hold my hand and grab me. that he dont got a problem with PDA. lol the hallway n elevator was great (i feel like ima cry right now) ut i am. theres a couple tears....(not because he holds my hand lol...just because of it all) but i fucked that up today too cuz that shit had me so confused this mornin. and i was in class talkin spanish and talking to him and translating got my thoughts all fucked up and he called me a weirdo after numerous back and forths... i just wanna go back to not breakin my rule and being an asshole and having no feelings. im starting to like butta and thats bad because people i like and relationships/friendships that we have always go sour. i just wanna curl up in a ball and cry in my bed. im being such a girl. shoot me now. my life is over. ima bitch today :(

on a HAPPIER NOTE: bbj got SLT for livi whooooo hoooo

Mamiii.....Rosie P....Ma....adios mio!!!!

So last night I stayed up late (extra late….4:30am late) talking to Butta…we had started talking like 12:00am… hmm that boy really has something. I’m kinda excited and kinda not. I don’t wanna lose focus and care too much. The only problem I see is the fact that he’s a ______. And we all know I don’t cross those lines except that once and we all know how well that went. Hmm I don’t even know right now. I haven’t been any form of that happy in a while. But I’m just going day by day NOT rushing anything. I don’t wanna screw this up like what happened with Parkside. Im not gonna make any plans or haves ideas about what could happen. Although I know technically the screw up was NOT my fault contrary to popular belief. Especially with what Butta said about it when I came out and told him the issue that we gonna be facing on Thursday. Omega Psi Phi, Que Ruption!!! Cause trying to chill with him and not have people in our business (he says there’s gonna be a lot of ____ and no ones gonna know he’s missing and no one knows we know each other) w/e!! They gonna notice I’m missing tho!!! Ugh…but I do wanna chill with just him. What to do with BBJ??? She suppose to be staying with me and all that hmmm...I don’t want her to leave cause he not staying overnight he gotta go back to Rowan and take his dean back. He’s such a cutie. Butta is the only person I’m talking to. I know crazy isn’t it? Well technically we not talking we just peoples that kinda talk. He said even if we don’t develop into anything else we still gonna be tight because “I’m cool”. (BTW BBJ surprised me in my suite this morning that girl is crazy... she my main though lol I love that girl like family.) Hmm anyway back to Butta…. C.B. was fucking with my mind last night lol. He thinks its funny playing games. Uh huh wait till the roles are switched.omg if he was to kiss me at the house the ____ would have a fit. Then that would be crazy. Speaking of them. I’m going to see F.Q. today awww I love my big brudder. Got to read for class while I’m there. SCHOOL SUCKS. Its ugly outside today looks like it’s going to rain and its dreary and cold. Blah. mmMmm tomorrows THURSDAY!! I’m starting to feel the excitement my arms are locking up in nervousness. Just gotta get thru the day and try not to hype it up too crazy. Oh snappp I gotta focus and do hella homework tomorrow so I don’t spend my day being nervous and ill.

welcome to trinidad

well its tuesday. i been skipping days i know. the drama this weekend thru me off and then i got distracted by a very attractive flirty trini boy. hmmm. hes very interesting i think his name will be smooth cocoa butta. mmMMmmm cuz that boys skin is whoooaa i gotta stop picturing him MUST STAY FOCUSED. only time will tell. he does have a strike against him although its not his fault. gotta see what happens thursday... S.C.B and Parkside all in one place me and bbj are gonna have a crazy time.

time will tell

im pretty much ok with wat happened yesterday. im good. still confused n amazed but its cool. changed our room around today wit peju. bought my & bbj's ticket for thursday. [kinda excited kinda not] washin my jeans n now im bout to do homework....the week starts tomorrow ugh busy busy

U MOTHERFREAKER!!!!!

---Parental discretion is advised---

Well yesterday was “H.V.D.” and although it started well [regardless of the fact that I didn’t have a valentine] it did NOT end well. People who will be named lost their freaking mind during a textual/ Facebook chat-able conversation with me. When do people get off talking bullshit? I have never been one about gossip because I don’t give a fuck about people’s lives unless it involves me but this THIS is ridiculous.

The day started off fine I was awaken by one of my friends because she was scheduled to work and her man was going to take her out and she couldn’t get anyone to cover for her. I thought about it. Then I thought about making up a lie so I wouldn’t have to work and yet NOPE I couldn’t do it. I talked to my mom in-between her two phone calls and she did the whole mom speech “don’t feel bad for yourself, it doesn’t matter you don’t have a valentine, you got to do stuff for yourself, entertain yourself…don’t feel sorry for yourself blah blah” so while I was talking to my mom my girl managed to smash her finger in the car door and start crying and I just couldn’t be mean [partly on the grace of her and partly on the grace of her man who is like family to me] so yup I said I would work for her 12-2 even though I had to work 6-9 because no one else could work it because it was valentine’s day and everyone has a man but me[I never work weekends!!!] I thought HEY GOOD KARMA…I DID A GOOD DEED. Ehhhhh NO god didn’t seem to think that… because I went to work and came back and ate washed some clothes went back to work etc etc WITHOUT feeling bad for myself until I started talking to one of my bruhz and we were talking about the 2 not 1 but 2 dozen roses he sent to his valentine ..[YOU say awWwwWWww now] it was still cute to me but the conversation made me start thinking about Parkside and how we not talking and people that do want me I don’t want etc etc. Soooo yea….. I was watching videos and on Facebook saying Feliz Dia de Amor to my friends when IT happened. The events that will change my life forever. [No one died in the making of this but if he had been in front of me someone WOULD have.]

I’m even going to put the whole conversation [copy and pasted] into this blog so you can understand. But first background. Cameron Smith and I started dating back in November of my junior year of high school. He’s 3 yrs and 11 months older than me. So I was 16 and he was like 20ish. My birthday is in June and his is in July. Sooo we been through many MANY ups and downs. Lots of BAGGAGE. Things my mom says I shouldn’t have to deal with but I loved him/love him/use to love him [u get the picture] use every sense of the word I’ve felt it. Well we’ve made it through four years on the grace of God [I’d like to say on the grace of me not erasing him but I digress] so it all started like 3 days ago.

Rewind 3 days: I was sleeping and he called like 12 times I texted him and he called me back like and I kinda sorta quote: “what sorority are you in? did u pledge one and drop? Have you ever fucked someone named Tom Tim or Ted?” [I KNOW! STAY WIT ME NOW CUZ ITS GONNA GO FAST] I was like what the fuck are you talking about I’m so confused blah blah and he’s like just answer the question because I want to know. This dude that I work with [he just met him JUST started working at his new job hasn’t known this dude for more than a month] said that he graduated in 01’ and he knows you and I showed him a picture and he was like yea her, Francesca she’s the only good looking Francesca I’ve seen and she go to Rutgers my frat be giving it to her heavy blah blah so I was like what the fuck who said it so I can figure out who talking shit and he goes “oh no I can’t give you my source” ARE YOU FUCKN SERIOUS this is a grown man we are talking about so I hung up. TWO HOURS LATER. He texts me like why you hang up? I said that was 2 hours ago and your acting dumb don’t bother me with this bullshit. End of conversation. Now obviously I was upset because why would someone that knows you ever believe something like that. I didn’t speak to him since then.

Fast Forward to the present: I’m on Facebook saying happy valentines to people and I was fine. Perfectly fine. Then I sent Will a message. [Will is his cousin/friend/whatever that lives with him that I met once. That I talk too occasionally meaning I say “hello”, “how are you”, “how’s life”, “where’s cam” basic friendly stuff nothing important. Just being nice because cam likes him and it’s important to me for Will to like me if I’m always going to be there. So the conversation follows thereafter. Follow along now…

Francesca: happy valentines loser

WILL: you didnt even wish me happy vday yet

Francesca: look at chu, hush

WILL: are you mad that I found out about fucking other niggaz at school or you trying to fuck will now, damn I thought you said you was down for me

Francesca: wat [the realization that its cam not will]

WILL: if you want to make it a team thing just let me know

Francesca: wtf

WILL: grimey, lose my # iight

Francesca: whose fuckin will

WILL: you trying to

Francesca: no im not

WILL: so lets just make it a team thing iight

Francesca: lol ur not serious, thats really sad

WILL: from what i hear thats how it goes down at rutgers on you all day, yeah I know

Francesca: of all people thats hella funny cam

WILL: I thought I really meant something to you but u at school going hard and downplaying it to me

Francesca: wtf are u talkin about, who are all these people im fuckin , please let me know, cuz i didnt know i was doing it, but let me know so i can go say thank you and that i had a nice time, your sad and u really believe bullshit that comes outta peoples mouths, about me , me???, thats cool ur soooo important now that u gonna believe some bullshit from COLLEGE, way TO go!! Buddy, sad ass , stay the fuck away from me with this bullshit


MIND U HE JUST MET THIS PERSON!!!! WHO GRADUATED IN 2001!!! I WAS IN LIKE 5TH GRADE. WAS FRAT FUCKIN ME THEN!!!???? BUT HES GONNA BELIEVE SOME BULLSHIT THAT COULD OR COULD NOT BE TRUE JUST BECAUSE THIS NIGGA SAID IT. So since that’s how it “goes down on me all day” and I didn’t know. I feel as if I should start taking applications so I know and can appreciate ALLL this sex that I’m having. because I could swear I just spent 2 months NOT having sex NOT wanting anyone to touch me or kiss me or flirt with me because it wasn’t Parkside. In fact forget it NO apps just stand in a line since apparently I like tag teams FUCKIN RETARD. You don’t even understand the magnitude of my anger last night I thought I had actually lost my mind. I was completely baffled BAFFLED as to how someone could go about something like this in a manner as he did. LET IT BE KNOWN. I let people stay in my life I can erase you with a quickness and not care so please GIVE ME A REASON to be a bitch to you. PLEASE.

LIVID

OH THE ANGER.... U WILL HEAR THE STORY WEN I CAN TYPE UGH!!!!! FUCKIN PPL. THATS Y MY ASS STAY IN MY ROOM.

and so....

Well we all know today is Valentine’s Day and it doesn’t matter if you have a valentine or not it still effects you. If you are single this day is known to you as Single Awareness Day and if you have a heart then it’s the worst day of your life. Lol and being around people in love makes you want to throw up all over yourself like a drunken kid who had nachos at 12pm after 6 shots of vodka and 4 rounds of beer pong at 9am in the morning before a fall semester football game. Me myself? I just eat Chinese and don’t mind that I have no valentine. Why don’t I have a valentine, u ask? Whelp it’s because the person I want doesn’t want me and the people that do want me I could care less about. I know it’s harsh and me not getting what I want is karma for being a bitch 365 days a year. It’s not that big of a deal to me because we all know I’m cold blooded and have no heart so blah BLAH blah to the roses and the chocolates and the big stuffed animals that your special significant other surprises you with. I’d rather make money at work anyway [even though I was secretly hoping that Parkside would pop up outta nowhere having driven the 45 minutes from _______ and surprise me…which isn’t happening but I’m just saying] Anyway so yea I’m happy for those that have valentines on this hallmark holiday. Feliz Dia de Amor o Dia Feliz de Valentinos. Depending on your Spanish…. And if your reading my blog on February 14, 2009 then YOU don’t have a valentine either because I definitely would not be anywhere near a damn computer if I had a valentine especially if it was the one I wanted. Oh welllllll. I’m hanging in there pray for me…

Dia feliz de valentinos....

Happy Valentines Day yall..... i'll post later on today on the day and my feelings towards it lol.... i gotta work 12 to 2 and 6 to 9....everyone else had plans :/ oh well.... im not gonna feel sorry for myself mom says i gotta make plans for myself so.... good mornin Single Awareness Day.....


Soundtrack: Halo -- Beyonce -- i love the video it reminds me of this time i spent... "gimme a kiss" mmmMmm

new face

yea so as u can tell i changed the background. cuz someone ____________ was complaining about he couldnt read it was too bright or some bullshit. so i made it softer. just for u zach lol

Quality vs. Quantity [Parental Discretion is Advised]

SOUNDTRACK: Jodeci --- Freek'n You


--Parental Discretion is Advised--

Aight we all adults I'm just trying to look out for the conservative bunch that read my blog but now I'm going to be reckless wit my mouth as usual. Ok so as the title states this discussion is about Quantity vs. Quality. And we are talking about sex here nothing else not your shoe game not your paper game NOT your collected empty alcohol bottles that sit in your window just sex.

The question of Q vs. Q is brought up often in conversations that deal with sexual intercourse and your personal number. That brings up another topic…..your number [but we'll talk about that later on]...SOOO Quantity by definition is 1. an indefinite amount or number 2. the aspect in which a thing is measurable in terms of greater, less, or equal or of increasing or decreasing magnitude. SO for the dumb people out there that means a big number. And Quality is 1. a degree of excellence. Again for the dumb people out there that means the best of ____. [whatever is in question] in this conversation its sex.

So sex hmmm where to start….its been called many things; sex, sexual intercourse, trim [for the ol' skool black folks], tapping that ass, f**kin, freakin, Knockin Da boots [shouts to H-Town], u wanna Do It ? (wink wink)… and so on and so forth I personally like the term Smashin. Nah mean you see someone that’s fly u be like look you cute and I know I'm sexy...I'm just trying to smash then you can go back to whatever you was doing before lol.

So yea... niggas be acting like they cool cause they freak a lot of girls ha!! not even. If you smash a long list of girls... "it don’t even a matter though [alpha psi]"….. cause if they not working it out BLAH….its just an additional number. Since number keeps coming up I feel I have to make a comment about the idea of the N word…. Your number 1. should NOT be excessive 2. it should NOT be filled with ugly girls and/or boys 3. it should NOT be brought up in every conversation you have 4. it should NOT make you any more of a man/woman [side note: for those of you who think it does…your sadly mistaken] etc etc…back to the topic

For those that have no idea what I'm talking about because you have either 1. chosen to live a celibate life or 2. are still virgins because [enter personal belief here]. That’s cool but what I'm bout to say will not pertain to you….

You know some of yall have sexual relationships with your significant others and that’s cool. Some of yall look for emotional stability within your sexual partners . Some f**k just because. Some think if they have sex with some one they gonna end up getting in/staying in/or fixing a relationship. Some people have sex by mistake and/or on purpose because their friendships cross boundaries and limits into the all to familiar term known as F.W.B. [friends with benefits]. Either way we should all know the difference. Good long-lasting/leg shaking/ body rocking/ important/useful/ feen ending/ cant wait another day to go at it again/ no drama/ no strings attached/ don’t catch feelings sex VS. wasteful/boring/ watching a football game and texting/ thinking about another person/ cant wait to leave and/or kick the other person out/ wasting your precious time cause you could have been doing something else that’s more fun and productive sex. Like one of my beloveds said, " it doesn’t matter how many you have if its not good . U could have 70,000,000 partners but if its not good your just wasting your vagina." lmao she's so educated in the matter to be batting for the good/innocent side.

My opinion is…. look my number isn't 1 and its not 20 either. I don’t go around whorin myself out nor do I go around saying and/or acting like I'm innocent. And I don’t believe in people that make a big deal of having their number be only 1. I just want to go up to them and shout HEY YOUR NOT ANY BETTER THAN ME FOOL!! So what if you like sex. As long as you pay attention and are responsible about your actions have ALL the sex you want!!! [RAP IT UP] Everyone needs to mind their business and keep they mouths shut STOP TALKING ABOUT OTHER PPLS SEX LIFES. Stop commenting on things you think you could have seen. Or things you could possibly know. And Quality blah!!! Your number could be one and the quality of your sex life could be horrible so there that goes.

So where does that leave us? Where has our conversation gone? What conclusion have we arrived at? ---- exactly ----A never ending cycle. Its all based on opinion, personal morals and principles. But nah mean don’t get it twisted I'll call outta hoe in a hot minute [yea u too man whores] its whatever

I end with a quote…." no man wants to start off as a good guy and cross over to the bad side" --BBJ

IF I WASNT POOR AS SHIT....

if i wasnt poor as shit i would buy all these mighty MIGHTY fine things that im going to run through with u. Alas i AM poor so the fact of the matter is im just dreaming. falsely living out a shoppin day that i can not fully commit too. as seen here with these beautiful diamond 2 carat earrings ugh....i can feel them weighin my ear lobes down already BUT....ehhh the price which will not be spoken is HUGE and i OF COURSE dont have paper lik that soooooo i will continue to look at those beautiful glistening light reflecting gems on the website. lol ....These wonderfully sarcastic shirts that embody everything that franii is lol. we all kno i say "WORD" and "OH SNAPPP" on a daily basis.... and of course Delias makes the shirt but Delia thinks its cool to sale regular shirts at 24.95 for no god damn reason so thats out because aint NO way in hell im paying $50.00 for TWO shirts ugh... maybe id think about it if i was a trustfund baby. KFC!!!!!! no other words. ENOUGH SAID. yummmm potato wedges and popcorn chicken.. oh i like them snackers too lol. And for all those that get close enough to know my smell is Warm Vanilla Sugar by Bath and Body Works. Its the best smell in the whole world. i end up smelly sugary and sweet all day. i think it smells good so thats really all that matters. And i want ANOTHER new phone cuz im tired of the Tmobile DASH that i have right now. i want the G1 cuz all my friends have it and its hella cool. i just watched lik 20 videos on Marcos' the other day. i love it but IM POOR AS SHIT lol...... ahhh which brings us to the Coach sneakers and ballet flats awww arent they pretty I KNOW.....i want one in like every color ughhhh i have no self control.... ummmm and the beautiful bag cant u just feel the prettyness can u feel the halo around the beautifully sculpted bag hmm so wonderful...... AND THE BIGGEST....i been trying to get these damn NIKEBOOK sneakers for the longest time and i have failed time and time again because IM POOR AS SHIT lol but one day when i get paid.... i will go to the mall -- preferably Woodbridge and buy my soon-to-be-beloved sneakers. beautiful just beautiful.

The Problem of Human Connection A.K.A. That [insert ignorant derogatory name here] aint gettin dey s**t together

Where do we begin to understand the beginning???? When can we understand what we should know as children??? Or is that a common misconception that we already know how to love one another as {ehhh…what’s that word when it’s just instinct….whatever you get the point anyway back to my hypothesis on the complications that we have as human beings seeking the otro/a [other for u NON Spanish speaking folks]} Anyway yes loving someone. [I must have missed that lesson in kindergarten….sing-a-long now…”I LOVE YOU/YOU LOVE ME/ LETS GET TOGETHER AND KILL BARNEY] Caring for someone more then we care for ourselves. That’s ludicrous!!!!!! [I definitely missed that boat…the stupid fool that thought that up was smoking that good ishhh] I’ll be damned if I care for someone more than I care for myself. [not really….. my mind and body has the capacity to accomplish this task however no one has given me a good enough reason to cross the thin line between love and hate] And plus we all know in college right now no one cares about anyone else more than themselves. In college the very very low percentile of human beings [gender u ask…that’s Neither here nor there] that do care for others will soon become those that;

A. fall out of love

B. get pregnant, drop out of school and realize that their baby daddy is a loser regardless of the fact that u met him in college [he was visiting his cousin..that nigga go to CCC/BCC/ECC/ whatever county u in add the CC lol]

C. will soon find out that she f**kd your cousin [the one u was visiting when you came to party at one of the student center parties

D. ALL OF THE ABOVE.

I’m betting on the majority of the college community voting eh… D. ALL OF THE ABOVE. And for the lucky few that surpass the normal-destined-to-happen-and-make-you-break-up-with-your-significant-other-because-you-slept-with-his/her-best-friend step….god bless your soul…give it like a couple minutes after u read my blog. Go thru they phone messages… they hiding SOMETHING. Don’t get me wrong sometimes you can make it Thru.The.Phi-re [Spr 07 Alpha Psi shout out] and see the light..u can see the halo around your loved ones head. BUT…What does it mean to have success? A Successful relationship. What does successful mean? And how can a relationship be deemed successful? Ahhh…. The question of the day… peace love AND franii

DEDICATIONS....

We all know i love youtube. im in the middle of writing papers n bullshittin so i wanted to dedicate videos to ppl in my novella. This is RIN ON THE ROX and i like them so ima use them. :)


TO: MR 2








To: ...PARKSIDE...






TO: MR SMITH

To be Positive or Negative: Thats the damn question.

How can one be unbiased to the selection of a direction that one’s life may soon lead? This is the question that we ask ourselves everyday (not in so many words I’m sure). We all live day by day thinking in one way or another that our life may or may not affect others around us. For the optimistic ones, they walk around believing their hello could save someone’s life or that their long lost love will walk through the nearest door at any moment. That a once destroyed relationship can come back full speed on a simple breath of hello (B.B.J. & Abril). But lets be real people, these things only happen in movies. Yes, tis I, the cynical pessimistic one. I assume the worse so I don’t get hurt when the wonderful unrealistic moments don’t happen. Those glass-slipper Cinderella moments, the “I’ll never let go Jack” Titanic moments, the “Heart don’t fail me now/ Courage don’t desert me/ Don’t turn back now that we’re here” Anastasia moments, the don’t-tomahawk-him-in-the-head “I LOVE HIM!” Pocahontas moments. The moments that you have once in a lifetime. That you never imagine would ever happen to you. Where u lay with [insert name here] and don’t have to say a word, watch them sleep, look into their eyes, kiss their nose, watch the right side of their mouth turn up in a smirk because they know….hmmm what exactly do they know?? Those moments don’t really happen. They don’t exist. Everyone gets hurt and you get hurt faster than you can get a rose on Valentine’s Day or a text message back when you talking to someone that doesn’t have QWERTY or doesn’t know how to use T9. So I pose the question to all who enjoy reading Doble Personalidad, “What to do? To be Positive or Negative?” Am I being cynical and an asshole as usual or am I being realistic and smart. Do people really love the sound of fresh snow underneath their shoes in the winter or do they look for leaves to smash underneath their shoes in the fall?

thank you THANK YOU thank you

im writing this for all those who take the time to read my blog and blogs just like it. i put alot of effort into bloggin. its funn too of course. and i love changin ppls names. but i just wanted to say thanks for showin interest. lik i said ....IF U CARE....its there >>>>

btw: comment on the new juicy campus... (http://collegeacb.com/) lmao this is bullshit. just let it GOOOOOO. sheesh.

ok good night. i need to sleep i got class in the mornin. toodles

the trust challenge

im watchin tool academy...hence the title. (krista is a bitch yo)


hmmm. classes tomorrow. work tomorrow. homework. i gotta call my ghandi. text my ppl. call my mom. normal things. now for the drama.
(cuz we all kno thats wat we tune in for)


i feel lik this is the season to have problems wit dudes in ur life. all of us everyone...bbj, bhb, funny d, me, EVERYONE. oh well. they lie or dont text u or ignore you or dont razzle dazzle ya. ughh.... wats the point??? get it right fools.


miss shy n the twins got problems cuz the twins got into a program that miss shy did not. NOT COOL. i feel like we gonna have issues soon.

i chilled wit ricky and green eyes n their friend..its bad wen u gotta schedule times for chillin wit ur friends. speakin of which bbj bhb n i are going shoppin for que ruption so i can look fly. its in the calendar so u know its IMPORTANT. lol



"if i told u to spend the night with me would u do it"---- first of mr fly u not tellin me nothin! second off maybe. stipulations and all... i'll schedule u. we all kno nothins gonna happen. cuz my mojos gone. so chillin, laughin, SLEEP, comfy bed mMMmm

i cant wait for spring. i get paid friday. gotta pay bills. talk to mom about makn my line seperate. wash clothes. chill wit cuz kenny. buy food. call DELL. stress over the 19th. yay the mall!!!! one of the "ington" gave me a look today hmm i must b seein things.



wat else......



final thoughts: yes im making my life public. so wat????? u wanna be nosey? GET A LIFE. my blog is for me. my friends* r in it cuz they r my life. hence its for my friends. no ppl were harmed in the making of this. just come. learn. live. laugh. love.



*all names have been changed lol

how is this possible????

i would just lik to question the fact that i am single and who i lik [or use to] doesnt lik me. watt????? look at me im a cutie or at least i thought i was... i guess times r changing. idk how grandma expects me to have a boyfriend everytime i come home. im gonna be twenty n have never had someone worthy of meeting my parents n mis abuelos. thats kinda sad. it makes me think wats missing? wat exactly is francesca morales lacking? it use to be just a heart now sheesh it could be anything. since parkside stole my mojo, my common sense, my attention span, my pimp card, lol i aint got nothin. that nigga fucked my shit up lol. n yes ricardo if he aint answerin my messages y do i care cuz u would have answered them b4 i sent them lol. n yes abril i obviously learned my lesson. ima stick to my side. n yes nigerian i moved on...... i dont have time for someone new. n i dont wanna pull someone outta my past for things that i need but havent had in a while lol [hence the stolen mojo]...time yes time pero i want stability i want someone that fits in with my busy life. that can keep me in place n make me laugh and other things. all this "wait it will come".."give it time"..."wen u stop stressin"...BULLSHIT. im busy no time i gotta schedule an appt to wait lmao. besos to everyone who thinks im crazysexycool.

I STALLED HIM??????

wat to talk about hmmm?????????



well lets run down the days that i have missed....

Wednesday: ehhh... seems like so long ago. well i got ready i went to my classes. did i eat lunch?? i dont remember... long day [as most of my days are] um met people [moses and secret handshake] in line at the dining hall so naturally i cut the line WHO CARES....I DO WAT I WANT!! lol wat day was that ohhh chicken night.. secret handshake and i got chicken and was chillin at my spot for a while. good times good times. i havent laughed that much in a while. so funny. yo and he does this thing where he plays wit ur fingernails its so relaxing i was seriously tired.

Thursday: my day off...no busy busy busy. i talked to my mom. i was suppose to have a lunch date with a hummingbird but her car messed up so it got canceled and then i chilled with my F.Q. i love him soooo much hes one of my besties even tho he dont wanna be lik a brother lol oh welll deal with it lol i really do love him tho we mad tight and hella real with each other. the title came from him. he thinks its my fault that parkside isnt speaking. cuz i STALLED HIM????? its not my fault ugh watever. he thinks parkside is stalling me now. and i have to see him lik 5 times this month ugh... judy gonna be my backup she got me on lock...we gonna be owt. gonna look hella flyy too.

Friday: meetings. class. homework. work. chillin and talkin. food. wait. food???? what did i eat hmmm??? i actually dont remember eating not [im bullshittin right now watchin For The Love Of Ray J...takin forever to post] ummm....friday friday friday????? oh i came home after livi the girls talked about rush. i changed. went to chill wit my boys downstairs for a while. and then came up got in bed and went to sleep...i was textin of course.. and then i fell asleep.

Saturday: what to do today?? uh homework.... nothin really....straightenin my hair. cleanin my room. right now im bloggin obviously...somewhere in there ima eat today... and uhh yea homework... not really exciting weekend for me. texting of course yes texting

mornin thought

i got 3 classes today and work. so a morning thought and im quoting someone.

"How you have lived affects what you are able to see." --

Judy and I texted parkside last night. no answer. just like i thought oh well. Que Ruption on the 19th lol fun times too come.

gotta get ready for section.

you got me.....in your arms lost for words...you got me

so im at work where i normally do most of my posts because im just sitting in front of a computer doing homework for hours and i decided i wanna talk about my current issue. the title u ask? oh thats just a song me and the FM on duty are listenin to.


ISSUE AT HAND: remember when i said i wasnt talkin to someone well i kinda am. and hes good for me. hes nice and normal and smart and has all his stuff together but theres no spark. he kissed me and there was.... NO FYAH.... nothing i kinda was actually thinkin about something else i think. and that made me think besides him i havent really talked to anyone after parkside WHICH is why i feel that parkside jacked all my shit up. how can someone who you barely touched give u such a reaction weeks later. lik im over him. sorta. i dont like him anymore. kinda. but damn that boy is fine. like hella hella fine. even my mom said he was cute and she always says i have bad taste. and hes smart and graduating and going to grad school. and when hes home hes like [max]10 minutes away. and did i mention that man is fine. ugh.... whoa. ANYWAY back on topic so yea.... im trying to figure out what to do. like parksides an asshole we ALL know this but if we got pass that it could work and everything OR i could try with _______ and see where that goes. any ideas????


i would just like to say as a [p.s.] if mr. 2 was mine we wouldnt have this issue. if only he were mine. finally. just mine. period. end of story. i wish you were mine. i wish i was the one. but im not. im just the friend. just a past.

with you is where id rather be/ but we're stuck where we are/and its so hard/so far/ this long distance is killin/i wish that you were here with me/ can you hear me crying

How can any deny themselves the pleasure of my company! It's beyond me.

"At certain times I have no race, I am me."

---zora neale hurston

I would just like to say i have a GREAT number for the housing lottery. 1340!!!!! and i know people on the above 10,000 range so im good to go. im hopin for a single and my ppl said its a good number so heres to hoping. :)

Secondly: classes today hmmm.... lit study wasnt that bad. i woke up on time got to class on time. i was great. got back to busch. got take out. called my madre. went in my apt. was reading and sleeping. went to my second class. that class was funny today.. "what is LOVE?' [no answer lol] ok..... "what is love in Tess?" lmao... now im at work reading for my next class WHICH i cant stand. i hate this class. the professor is an idiot i can NOT stand him. "do you understand?" UGH..... at least josh in the class wit me... and then home to do spanish homework for tomorrow

Thirdly: my stomach hurts idk y tho. speakin of my stomach im gettin alittle chubby in that region. not cool gotta start workin that out i refuse to not be in shape. even if i dont speak gym.

Cuarto: This mornin when i work up i saw the dumbest thing. I swear people pull shit outta no where they so random with their relationships and all that. Prada is an idiot. What was i ever thinking.

Cinco: IM HELLA TIRED.

Seis: hmmmm is there a six?? im sure there is. oh.... many men many many many many men.... lol i only been talkin to mr. fly. everyone else is shot out. mr smith comes and goes when he feels lik it [like he always has]. and no one else is really worth me fitting them into my schedule. its hard enough fitting my friends in. [and i kno everyones wonderin...nope parkside has dropped off the face of the earth...i almost think its no longer a part of camden lol]

LATINA FOOOOLLL

cant be like me if u wanted to....



we flyy u dont gotta tell us we KNOW



LOVE IT!!!

80s vs 90s

wat song was playin????


my flyy girls



chijioke and judy




judy and rachel

rollin wit my homies.....

ok so its sunday after noon now and since im chillin i can catch you up with the past few days events.


Thursday: i was at work a long long time. i was doing spanish homework and laughin and talkin about losers that like to act hood over text but talk under their breath in person lol. Then i went and chilled wit mr. 2 for a little while.. quality time awww.....now not really we was beating each other up and being mean lol thats real lub [we abuse the limits of our friendship]


Friday: wat did i do friday? ummm.. oh yea i had women of color session then i had spanish class on livi. [ im really gonna like that class] then i left livi to go back downtown to buy things for spanish class and my last minute small things for my costume for the 80s vs 90s party. [HELLA FUN] photos to follow but all of them are on my facebook. i was Latina cerca 1995 in the Los Angeles, California area lol. it was brick outside that night, ridick cold but im a thug so i rocked it out..... 80S VS. 90S!!!!!! so like i said i had fun there were a lot of 80s not alot of 90s. amber p. was Aaliyah cerca "one in a million" lol. um good music great music that gets you dancing i havent had that much fun in a while A LONG TIME.... aww and my favorites [the royal family]were strolling...ITS ABOUT DAMN TIME.... umm i love my favorites---- JUDY, AMBER P, ABRIL---then i made the trip home in the cold. got ready for bed talked to Mr. Fly and went to sleep after posting my pictures :)


Saturday: so i woke up at 7am to wait for the L weekend bus to come up on next bus. then i got ready went to rsc to set up for MLK Day and all that. people annoyed me. we broke into the building. the FM wasnt on time. anyways.... i had judy so i was good. my group went to the george street playhouse and we did STUPID STUFF.. but i get to get free tickets to one of their shows so im happy :) then i went to see mr fly for a while then some sigmas [love them] then i met judy at stuf ur face those wings r good!! then i went home ate and went to sleep. lol sleep sleep sleep.


Sunday: Im awake. i kept wakin up every two hours last night. missing someone :/..... uh hungry too. jess and kim are here everyone else is gone. its superbowl sunday and the IOTAS are havin some big bash and then i got hella reading to do so ima be home and awake doin homework. hmmm... gotta take a shower and wash my knotty hair.... u will see why its knotty.. 80s vs 90s ha my hair was huge lol. tomorrow starts another long week 14hr days and no sleep. eat once and day keeps the hunger away. back on the grind....

Talkin to my beloved Miss Ford at VSU. i miss her. my soldier.