like clockwork

so the past couple of days have been "gat" but i been making it through. Im so over rutgers i been having to schedule lunches and dinners with my friends just to see them. the sigmas crossed yesterday yay!!!! Steve Manny Rome Lamar and Matt!!!!! Spr 09 now we just gotta wait for everyone else to get off. samb ass niggas.... on another note

WHERE'S WALDO APR 2.
Blue and White Cabaret Apr 11.
Pretty Nasty party at Stockton Apr 10 [yup sito im advertising just for you!!]

And mr smith came back like clockwork calling me babe this and i love u that OH PLEASE NIGGA. i've heard it all before. i shut that down dumb quick im over it. threw wit it. that nigga is a samb ass nigga cuz the gattery that flows outta his mouth. ha!! not doin it anymore.

i been dying for some chik fil a. and i mean dying i NEED it asap and the closest one is menlo park mall. GAT!!

Return to Earth

well im back at RU and blah. its still sucky hasnt changed much. i have a "poppin" day tomorrow if i may use dimps word. 3 classes and work lord bless my soul. ughhhh.

Lost and Gained *names will be changed*

1. MR SMITH stole my heart which made me heartless
2. CRYBABY tried my patience which made me difficult
3. MR GET-IT-TOGETHER pushed me away which made me cold
4.YOUNG BOUL caught my eye which made me seduce
5. RUNNER tugged at my innocence which made me wild
6. BOYFRIEND [OF ANOTHER] desired which made me destroy
7. MR 2 captured my soul which made me weak
8. LIAR questioned my choices which made me smarter
9. TIC-4-TAC spoke sarcastically which made me laugh
10. LOVESONG challenged me which made me meaner
11. COMEDIAN destroyed my frown which made me smile
12. PRADA tested my commitment which made me stupid
13. TWIN defined our friendship which made me love
14. COCOA BUTTA broke me which made me harder

realization

i had it all together at one point. what happened to that time? what changed? where am i suppose to go from here?

Touch Nothing..

Today is saturday the 2nd day of spring like that means somethings cuz its cold outside nice but cold i think its lik 44 high of 50 or something like that.

i woke up today and went and got my refill so finally my nails look nice again i look cute today also btw. i was in there forever cuz the one day i dont go exactly at the time it opens theres lik 20 heads in there ahead of me but its cool *wateva*.

and then i got home and mom and i went out to do something she needed to do then we ate lunch at a korean restuarant (im currently still burping it up) korean food is great ive been eating it since before i was born but the place we went to every week in philly changed hands and it got wack so we stopped going. this place is closer not as authentic but its just as good. if u've never had korean u should definitely try it. yea its a great date adventure or family friendly.


And i currently finished packing and cleaning my room for my move back to RU [BLAHHHH] yea my parents are taking me up in the morning back to that wack ass place yuck. i thought i would have more bags however i have not finished packin my clothes cuz the majority is in the washer [i think they done i gotta hang them up] i just packed everything else.

the current boo bout to get chopped and screwed cuz im givin 80 and he givin 20. oh well i still got my loves my wife [BBJ] and my dimps :) they can love me and give me affection. hence my facebook status and relationship status. cant no one love me like judy except my family. and " the gattery that is niggas and that niggas expell -- ur gonna miss me when im gone". SO TRU.

my song choice: Ciara -- Never Ever

*Dimps*

he had a whole section in "1st Day of Spring" but since it got chopped and screwed by BLOGGER i decided to give him his own post. :)

Dimps is a friend of mine. hes new. well not really new. but newER. hes cute ok hes a tad bit more than cute he has puppy dog eyes, nice lips, nice teeth, good good body. hes an athlete no im not tellin u the team he __?__ for rutgers. yes he goes to rutgers. i know a bad sign. but nevertheless hes cool peoples. i think we gonna become good friends except. the issue of him being a guy doing guy things lik never calling and never texting unless a girl does it first which exhibits uninterestedness in anything..... friendship relationship affair anything. so i have yet to know where ima put him and what ima do with/or to him. ;) in the original post i had yet to pick his nickname it was either "dimples" "dimps" "secrets" or "baby" cuz of his babyface. obviously i picked dimps. u happy? lol anyway back to the issue of wat to do with him. yo no se. we'll see what happens. i dont think he does affairs [he seems too relationshippy] so i dont think thats gonna be the road we go down we either gonna be friends or end up in some form of a relationship which will be difficult because we are both hella busy and cuz i dont know the quality of his kissing which is important cuz we all know that could be a deal breaker. idk either way hes someone to watch out for hes a sneaky one. arent u dimps? ;)

*Smile*

California just called me cuz for *Affection*. he wanted affection and he thought of me. how cute. hes like "a care bear". "hes popeye and my hugs are spinach" lol aww

The Picture

the flower is gerber daisy. its one of my favorites. so if u ever wanted to get me flowers. yup ur right. Gerber Daisys!!!

New Glasses

my new glasses. clark kent meets mad scientist. :) they're VOGUE.

1st Day of Spring

I HAD ALREADY POSTED AND BLOGGER FUCKED IT UP SO THIS IS MY SECOND TIME!!!!!!! SO I WILL NOT HAVE THE MUSIC AND IT WILL NOT BE AS DETAILED AS THE ORIGINAL PREVIOUS ONE!!!

So today is March uhhh March 20, 09 :) had to check the actual date cuz i had NO idea. Its the first day of spring [even tho is was cold] and its my first day back bloggin in a while. im gonna talk about lots of stuff.... so much that they gonna have they own chapters lol. and becuz its spring i changed the background so it can look springyy :) ur welcome so lemme get started... as i go throught i will also be informing u of the songs im playin. just in case u wanted to know. (The Dream: Kellys 12 play [love vs money])

IN FACT I DONT EVEN FEEL LIKE REWRITING EVERYTHING! SO IM NOT GOING TO WAY TO GO BLOGGER!!! IF I HAD BEEN SUICIDIAL U WOULDA JUST KILLED ME!

MY TOPICS WERE AS FOLLOWS ----

SPRING BREAK (or lack there of)

BOYS (single life, pimpin, 5 guys getting shot down, the current boo and his letdown, dimps and how he got his name and who he is)

SCHOOL A.K.A RUTGERS (blahhhh)

FAMILY (they all alive)

MONEY( being poor)

FRIENDS (the few that are loved and the others that just get to say they know me lol)

Public Service Announcement: WHERE THE HELL IS APRIL AND IS SHE NOT ANSWERING MY TEXTS!!???!!!


"Life is not all that is promised, nor is tomorrow" --Franni McDangerous

sad

sad n annoyed...the picture says it all

she has tested 16 men...in the case of shanikea, marcus u r not the father!!!!!

lmao im watchin maury, his mom involved oh snappppppp!! she called that girl interstate 66 with trucks running in and out lmaooooo oh snap the other man is his cousin lol oh shitt he just called her an amusement park!!!!!!

anyway back to the real news...

• im packed and ready to go
• my midterms are over but i got homework for spring break
• i cant wait to leave i hate this place now
• i get paid today :)
• i get to see my familia n boo all week
• im getting fitted for new frames this week yay new glasses
• spring break is today till the 22nd
• gotta get my nails n eyebrows done...and i gotta look for a dress for the cabaret n i need a date n i gotta buy the ticket blah blah
• btw lovesong looked cute yesterday wen i saw him
• n i hung out wit bestie yesterday n laughed
• wat to do this week????....dunno yet
  

hey hey hey

i would just lik to say... abril!!!!!! i said i was gonna vlog and do my tv show first!!!!! u copy cat lol

side note:

stacy dash is SOOO stunning to be in her 40s go head girl.

and another chapter closes...

well i know i've been M.I.A alot recently. im just really busy between class homework sleep eating and work. oh well. my life really doesnt consist of much anymore. the few people i talk to on the regular ...even some of them are getting forgotten about. i gotta get myself together. speakin of that i havent talked to anyone today. to u it might be early but i have usually already had numerous convos about this time. i got reading to do a paper to write a paper to revise and a whole bunch of other homework. butttt i have not eaten or taken a shower yet all i did was send an email check some messages and clean my room...eventually eventually...... well what has happened.. yesterday i disowned a group of people cuz they disrespected me and i expected more from them. i made an agreement not to talk about anything to do with a specific person and i will honor that promise. I went home this weekend. hmm :) my family is crazy i do love them. lol. im by myself..single very much so single (or am i) lol no im playin i am... im not talkin to no one not messing wit no one not stealing anyones boyfriend lol (or am i) lol NO im NOT im just playin. im doing good on my no soda no candy no MR.2 lent giveaways......i have to admit it has been a very hard struggle and im only on like day 7 lol.....i need to go to target... BTW some house crew member from RSC came to livi while i was working yesterday to sign in to work a program and he spelled my scent from the door and named it lol (for the idiots that dont kno its WARM VANILLA SUGAR from bath and body works) it was so cute lol. and i would also like to shout out BBJ for not punching that stupid trick in her face when she broke BBJ'S charger whoooa i woulda lol but we all know im violent. i would like to shout out dizzy for getting that off her chest (power to you). Ricks birthday was sunday : Happy belated..his cards are still on my desk from when i bought them on friday. Abrillll my darling so far away in carajo land but we still love you. Its MARCH my moms bday is at the end of the month....present ideas??? uh spring break is on the 13th to the 22nd...what to do??? i need to take a shower but some stupid trick is in there lol i wonder which roommate it is.....its wednesday right??....hmmmm interesting two more days til the weekend what am i gonna do?? oh NOTHING lol as usual..... guess i'll worry about that when the time comes....btw jean paul gautier (however you spell it) is my new favorite scent ;) hahahaha til next time

to the idea of giving up things....

welll just some points nothing major i know i been slackin.

• everyone reading my blog needs to go to aprils cuz the steve hardy clip is hysterical.
• im going home this weekend
• this week i learned one of the girls i went to highschool with does porn now
• i talk to butta everyday but im starting to doubt something--like the importance that i play
• Lent started today i gave up candy, soda, and Mr. 2
• im gettin annoyed with these bitches i live with being dirty
• i got hella homework to do
• Ricardo's birthday weekend starts today WHOOO HOOO RICK
• im tired
• some people have such horrible taste in clothes
• i cant wait for spring
• an addition --his name will be California
• i wanna drink some soda
• i wanna take a nap
• THANK JESUS I GET PAID MANANA...cuz im poor as shit
• what color should i paint my nails when i get a refill???
• parkside's bday is on the 3rd...why do i know he havin a surprise party??? cuz butta shared to much info when i DONT care. ugh
• im bout to clean my suite the dirtiness is KILLIN me
• people at work are gettin on my nerves
• i need to sleep

the yellow brick road...more like streets wit potholes

its amazing the road you must travel before you get to where you're going. you have ups and downs. falls. sometimes you trip over your own feet. however you continue down this path. a path which has no end and if it does you dont have any clue as to where it is. what a choice. what a leap of faith. what a grey. a maybe. a possibly. because in the end you are hoping that it goes well. you are hoping that you get what you want. you hope that you dont get hurt along the way. that you end up happy. that you end up with what you derserve. But how do we get to that. who decides what we derserve. who is willing to take these blind-folded jumps off tall TALL cliffs. i suppose we all must bear this cross. we must all walk without looking where we are going. however i resist with all of my strength. someone with common sense who knows what is coming will resist with all their strength. i'd rather not fall into a pit of lions because i was trusting of the unseen path i was on. does that make me difficult? does that make me wrong? cynical? hard headed? un-believing in the almighty power of love and trust and faith??....what are those other words everyone says to live by but never follow themselves.... "Live Laugh Love" ha yea whatever. your quick to get that tattooed on you because you think its a good quote however do you really believe that that is the true TRUE world. a real world. that yellow brick road nah more like the street downtown with potholes.

it was a bust!! oh lord :(

the past couple of days were going by mighty fine. no problemos. nothing to worry about. but then people were acting funny. days were getting shorter. i was waiting for phone calls so my day would get better. excited to go shoppin which never happened. fiendin for kfc and taco bell but had no car. it was starting to become a shitty week even wit the hours i talked to butta. i got really excited yesterday to see him. i was trying to find clothes that was more than a tee shirt and jeans but that was actually something i would wear. then i was getting nervous [all the things you want to happen when your about to see someone you spend hours talking to] but in the back of my mind i kept thinkin (wat if, wat if, wat if, is he gonna talk to me, is he gonna look at me, etc) we all know who im talkin about here ok .... id rather not say his name cuz im all fucked up in the head right now over some nigga for no apparent reason cuz that nigga could give two shits. ugh!!!!! and that shit is making me fuck up me and butta.

he was so good lookin tho. hoppin around lord jesus. that boy is fine i managed to avoid him with the help of my nupe nupe (sito spr 08) and bbj and the rest of the world that i knew that was there lol. til the end when the lights were on and i was talking to judy and i know he saw me. i was ok cuz i had seen butta. hes such a cutie. hes such a sweetheart. ugh wtf is wrong wit me??? anyway so F.Q. and some bruhs took us to F.Q.'s house and me and bbj were chillin. then all the people came. marcos was being mean lol then there was the random girls and all the bruhs. so i was conversing with a few of my favorites (drew, troy, butta) and bbj was off sittin down in the corner wit another bruh lol who was too funny HELLA FUNNY it was cool. troy got me oil (which was really good-- the best i've had so far im sorry troy i dont like beach oil lol ) and we were sitting there (standing in the hallway talking about people and laughin and catchin up and drew was tryin to get me to get bbj to have his baby lol.

bbj and i had moved down the hall for some reason idk and we were facing each other when here he comes.. he who must not be named... i felt him coming too OH LAWD i was fine.. no i wasnt i couldnt breathe lol this nigga walked right inbetween us and stared at me the whole time with that look on his face like "i could say something and i could possibly want to but im not going to" ugh!!! its killer!!! i almost passed out. ok ok im being a little dramatic... and then asshole bruh made me go get him for some reason so i had to go fuckin talk to him eww kill me now. id rather not re-live that moment it makes me queasy. i was missing a few regular bruhs that i love (eddie, marv) and i could have did without some that were there. MY LIFE IS OVER!!!! i wanted to text him last night but i didnt. theres no point. i have no reason. why im holding on to this. this is ridick and SO OUT OF character for me. wats wrong wit me????? wat did this nigga do?????

i lik chillin with butta. wat he did was great. i love that he'll hold my hand and grab me. that he dont got a problem with PDA. lol the hallway n elevator was great (i feel like ima cry right now) ut i am. theres a couple tears....(not because he holds my hand lol...just because of it all) but i fucked that up today too cuz that shit had me so confused this mornin. and i was in class talkin spanish and talking to him and translating got my thoughts all fucked up and he called me a weirdo after numerous back and forths... i just wanna go back to not breakin my rule and being an asshole and having no feelings. im starting to like butta and thats bad because people i like and relationships/friendships that we have always go sour. i just wanna curl up in a ball and cry in my bed. im being such a girl. shoot me now. my life is over. ima bitch today :(

on a HAPPIER NOTE: bbj got SLT for livi whooooo hoooo

Mamiii.....Rosie P....Ma....adios mio!!!!

So last night I stayed up late (extra late….4:30am late) talking to Butta…we had started talking like 12:00am… hmm that boy really has something. I’m kinda excited and kinda not. I don’t wanna lose focus and care too much. The only problem I see is the fact that he’s a ______. And we all know I don’t cross those lines except that once and we all know how well that went. Hmm I don’t even know right now. I haven’t been any form of that happy in a while. But I’m just going day by day NOT rushing anything. I don’t wanna screw this up like what happened with Parkside. Im not gonna make any plans or haves ideas about what could happen. Although I know technically the screw up was NOT my fault contrary to popular belief. Especially with what Butta said about it when I came out and told him the issue that we gonna be facing on Thursday. Omega Psi Phi, Que Ruption!!! Cause trying to chill with him and not have people in our business (he says there’s gonna be a lot of ____ and no ones gonna know he’s missing and no one knows we know each other) w/e!! They gonna notice I’m missing tho!!! Ugh…but I do wanna chill with just him. What to do with BBJ??? She suppose to be staying with me and all that hmmm...I don’t want her to leave cause he not staying overnight he gotta go back to Rowan and take his dean back. He’s such a cutie. Butta is the only person I’m talking to. I know crazy isn’t it? Well technically we not talking we just peoples that kinda talk. He said even if we don’t develop into anything else we still gonna be tight because “I’m cool”. (BTW BBJ surprised me in my suite this morning that girl is crazy... she my main though lol I love that girl like family.) Hmm anyway back to Butta…. C.B. was fucking with my mind last night lol. He thinks its funny playing games. Uh huh wait till the roles are switched.omg if he was to kiss me at the house the ____ would have a fit. Then that would be crazy. Speaking of them. I’m going to see F.Q. today awww I love my big brudder. Got to read for class while I’m there. SCHOOL SUCKS. Its ugly outside today looks like it’s going to rain and its dreary and cold. Blah. mmMmm tomorrows THURSDAY!! I’m starting to feel the excitement my arms are locking up in nervousness. Just gotta get thru the day and try not to hype it up too crazy. Oh snappp I gotta focus and do hella homework tomorrow so I don’t spend my day being nervous and ill.

welcome to trinidad

well its tuesday. i been skipping days i know. the drama this weekend thru me off and then i got distracted by a very attractive flirty trini boy. hmmm. hes very interesting i think his name will be smooth cocoa butta. mmMMmmm cuz that boys skin is whoooaa i gotta stop picturing him MUST STAY FOCUSED. only time will tell. he does have a strike against him although its not his fault. gotta see what happens thursday... S.C.B and Parkside all in one place me and bbj are gonna have a crazy time.